Seven Canadians in Ouran
by LightTheJeniusandTatania
Summary: The derps named Light, Tatania, Penny, Lexie, Juanita, Nini-chan and Ally go to Ouran. What happens? Chaos of course! Use this as some refrence to things that I mention in my Black Butler crossover fanfic but DON'T follow everything. You'll see what I mean later. So far: TamakixPenny and implied MorixTatania
1. Chapter 1-You Poor Souls

**A/N: The collaborative story between Tatania and I. I write the odd chapters and tatania writes the even. All of them are edited by me...and oh my god is it hell. This was written LOOONG before the Black Butler one. So yeah. Also this one is the 'original' story to the Black Butler one...so kind of like an AU prequel...sort of. Don't follow both and expect everything to be the same because it won't. You'll see what I mean later. Anyways...enjoy.**

**Also...sorry about fucking it up...for some reason it only posted half of the chapter initially...**

Seven strange girls sat in a house on a couch. How they all fit on the couch is beyond the laws of physics. They were just sitting doing nothing. "UGHH! I'm so BORED!" yelled one girl. She was a brunette and about as short as Napoleon. Okay…not really. Her name is Tatania. "Oh my god here's a concept. If you're bored than do something!" replied an annoyed voice.

This time it was a black haired, glasses wearing girl.

"B-but Liiight!" whined Tatania. "SHUT UP!" yelled multi-colour haired girl. "Stop acting like you're from an anime!"

A pink haired girl raised her finger as to say something but quickly put it down because a certain demon-shinigami girl hissed from the fourth wall.

"So…what should we do?" asked the multi-coloured haired girl. No one really knew what to classify her hair colour as. Light simply got up and walked out of the room. "No! Light come back to meeeee!" cried Tatania. Light stared at the other girl like she was an idiot. Which she is...don't doubt it. "Dude. I'm just getting the karaoke machine of doom and destruction and death…and my iPhone. iPhones are the most important thing in the world." she said. The girl then disappeared into the deep dark depths of her basement.

A red-head girl sat in the corner quietly. Her name is Lexie. She usually doesn't talk much…unless it's about Creepypasta or things that don't suck. So if Tatania tried to have a conversation with her about Rihanna, Justin Beiber, One Direction, Nicki Minaj, Taylor Swift or any other shitty pop singer Lexie would have her mouth closed and be out the room before anyone can ask where she's going. Also after the karaoke machine's out they'd be like chipmunks on crack.

The pink girl waited patiently for her friend, not wanting to be prematurely killed. This girl's name is Nini-chan. She's Light's nee-chan…by nothing but pure amusement.

The final girl was listening to music, not paying attention to the scenes that played out around her. What was her name again….eh whatever we'll remember it later.

When Light returned everyone seemed to cease their bored expressions. The final girl…h wait shit there's Ally…whoops…anyways…the other girl dropped her iPod. "The thing hath returrrrrrrrned!" yelled Ally. Light blinked for a couple of seconds. "Hath?" she asked. "Hath." confirmed Ally.

Light would have slowly put her face in her hand, if she wasn't holding a karaoke machine of doom and destruction and death.

The machine was soon set up and ready for whatever action it was about to get…oh dear god…

"Who wants to go first?" asked Tatania, in a sing-songy voice. "Clearly you…" mumbled Lexie. "OKAY" yelled Tatania, running around the room with her arms in the air.

Light rolled her eyes and tripped the hyper-active chipmunk. "Moron."

Meanwhile in the land of Fictional characters that are soon to be real

Kyoya Ootori and his idiot Tamaki Suoh were in a dark room watching a movie. Well…actually Tamaki forced Kyoya to watch this horrendous monstrosity of a movie, called 'Breaking Dawn: Part 1.'

"Why are we watching this?" asked Kyoya, with his dark little cloud on death looming over him. "It's for our darling daughter Haruhi's sake!" said Tamaki. Apparently Tamaki wants to bring out Ms. Fujioka's feminine side. Although the extent of the ways he does this is somewhat questionable.

Well…at least the two hosts aren't at the sex scene yet.

"Wait…who's Haruhi…" asked Kyoya, realising there was no one they knew named Haruhi. School hadn't even started yet…they were just getting into second year.

BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL IS A NO NO TAMAKI!

Back in the world of weird motherfucking people

"THE FLAMES NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAAAY!" yelled Tatania, breaking the neighbors' eardrums. Everyone else had red irk marks on their faces. "You need a life." deadpanned Light.

Tatania glared at the boring girl and left the 'wonderful' machine. "And you need a personality." Tatania replied, causing the demon inside Light to wake-up. Good going…take note of the sarcasm.

For whatever reason, the machine decided to spit out small magical flames…somehow not burning down the house. Thank god…we don't need Light to have a mental breakdown or some shit.

After many random songs, Tatania decided she wanted to sing a song with Penny. "I wanna sing 'Dancing Queen' with Penny!" she yelled. Light turned to her mild acquaintance in horror. "Dude K-pop is EVIL!" she yelled. "We second that." added the others. "DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME!" yelled Tatania.

Girls' Generation  
Let's dance!  
Hit the beat and take it to the fast line

Yeah Yeah Yeah~  
Yeah Yeah Yeah~  
Yeah Yeah Yeah~  
Yeah Yeah Yeah~

Mudae wi (oh oh)  
Neoreul cheoeum bwasseul ttae (oh oh)  
Nae juwie sigandeureun modu meomchugo  
Gaseumman ttwieo

Pyeongbeomhan naui insaengeul bakkwojun  
Neon naui Dancing Queen  
Jiruhan naui ilsangeul kkaewojun harutbamui party

Nae mameul sarojamneun daensing  
Geu hwaryeohan somssi  
Neoui geu igijeogin maepsi  
Geu ajjilhan sexy  
Sum makhil deut hae~ Yeah Yeah

Hanchameul jina (oh oh)  
Naega mudae wieseo (oh oh)  
Geuttae geudaecheoreom chumchugo noraehae  
Machi kkumgata~ Jeongmallo!

Pyeongbeomhan naui insaengeul bakkwojun  
Neon naui Dancing Queen  
Jiruhan naui ilsangeul kkaewojun harutbamui kkum

Nae mameul sarojamneun daensing  
Geu hwaryeohan somssi  
Neoui geu igijeogin maepsi  
Geu ajjilhan sexy  
Rideume momeul matgyeo neo~ Yeah Yeah~ Ssa!

Neon naui Dancing Queen  
Nuga mworaedo! Yeongwonhi!  
(I don't care what anyone thinks cause you're the one who makes me dance. You're one the who makes me sing. Can't nobody be my Dancing Queen but you.)  
Nae maeumsogui seuta  
Neon naui hero! Neon naui hero! Neon naui hero! ~  
(I get the chills when I see you move, see you groove. The way you shake your body is look at me everybody! Your dancing makes me hot! )

Dancing ( Dancing~ )  
Geu hwaryeohan dancing (Naui hwaryeohan dancing )  
Ni igijeogin maepsi (Oh naui igijeogin Mercy! )  
Geu ajjilhan sexy (Ooh~ Yeah! ) (Show me your dance! )  
Rideume momeul matgyeo neo~ Yeah Yeah

Nal sarojabeun dancing (Dancing)  
Ni geu hwaryeohan somssi (Somssi)  
Geu igijeogin maepsi (Hoo-hoo! )  
Nae geu ajjilhan sexy (Sexy)  
Sum makhil deutan neo~ Yeah! Yeah Yeah Yeah~ (Dancing Dancing! Show me now, Show me now! )

Bring it on!

Party (Molla Molla Eh~)  
Jeormeumeul bultaeul dancing party (Eh)  
Modu da hamkke hae party (Ooh~)  
Jeolmeumeul bultaeul dancing party  
Eh~ Eh~ Eh~

Once the song was done, Nini-chan noticed a greenish glow emitting from the machine. "What's that?" she asked. "What?" asked the others, finding a giant bunny appear and eat them. "DA FUK?" yelled Penny.

"…Weren't we supposed to go to Japan for school soon?" randomly asked Ally. "Yes, but apparently life says no." replied Light.

When the bunny spit them out, they were outside of a room, in someone's house. What the hell? The door was overly fancy, in their opinion, and strange sounds were emitting from it. "Should we go in?" asked Lexie. "What could possibly go wrong?" asked Ally before anyone could stop her.

"Ahh fuck…" groaned Light.

Upon opening the door they found two guys in a very awkward position. "What the actual fuck?" asked Light, on instinct. "MY EYES!" yelled Penny, looking away. "YAOI! YAOI! YAOI!" chanted Tatania.

"GET OFF ME TAMAKI!" yelled one of the guys, He kinda looked like…oh wait fuck this is a narrative in third person. WHOOPS! This was Kyoya.

Light sighed and turned to her friends. "I believe I know where we are. Welcome to the world of Ouran Highschool Host Club." she mumbled. "Let's…not tell them that." said Ally. Light nodded in agreement.

Kyoya and Tamaki, now out of their weird position looked at the girls. "May I ask…who you are?" …well asked…Kyoya.

-Boop-

"So you're claiming you moved near-by and your friend slept walked into this house?" Kyoya asked, unconvinced. "Yes." deadpanned Light. Although it didn't look like it, she was laughing on the inside.

"Kyoya! Didn't a bunch of girls and one boy move in yesterday?" asked Tamaki. Kyoya stayed silent as the girls thought, "And a boy?" The only one of them that fit the description of this…or at least was close enough…was Light. It took all the power they had to not burst out laughing. "I CAN'T DO IT!" yelled Tatania, laughing loudly.

Light's face collided with her hand, finally, due to her friend's idiocy.

"Where are you going to school?" asked Kyoya, ignoring Tatania. Light searched her pockets until she found a piece of paper folded more times than necessary. "Uhh…Ouran Academy. Oh wait Tatania you're going to Lobelia." said Light, almost producing a small smirk. "WHAT?!" yelled Tatania, ceasing her laughter, replacing it with shock.

"I'm just shitting you! Though not literally because that would be weird…" she yelled, laughing at her friend's pain.

Kyoya glowered, thinking "I'm surrounded by idiots."

The next day the girls arrived in front of Ouran. "It looks even gayer closer up." whispered Light. Lexie and the girl unnamed from earlier, who is now dubbed Juanita, nodded. "I hate pink…" grumbled Ally. "You don't like my hair…" asked Nini-chan, on the verge of tears. "N-no of course not…" Ally said, looking away.

They all went into the building where they were met by the Chairman. "You must be the new students." he said, stating the plainly obvious. It took all the power Light had not to sass this man. "That we are." she said, pushing her glasses up in a very Kyoya-like fashion. "Here are your uniforms." said the chairman, handing them six girls uniforms and one male one. "Oh godDAMNIT!" yelled Light, annoyed.

Thankfully some of the girls were going to be in the same classes. Penny, Tatania and Light were together in 2-A, Lexie and Juanita were stuck in 1-A and Ally and Nini-chan were in 3-A.

Life's strange in the neighborhood.

-Later-

"I guess it's time to go in Music Room 3…like Tamaki force told us to." said Penny. The other girls nodded. When they opened the doors, they were attacked by roses and bright flashy lights. "OH GOD! WHY DO YOU HATE ME?! I KNOW I'M A SATANIST BUT SERIOUSLY!" yelled Light, being allergic to roses.

"Oh…it's our classmates…and a guy." said the twins, Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin. "Hi Nini-chan…and Ally-chan!" yelled Mitskuni Haninozuka…or more commonly known as Hunny. "Yeah." said Takashi Morinozuka…or Mori.

Kyoya looked up and smiled knowingly at Light. She returned his intention by glaring at him and giving him the finger. Then she turned to Tamaki, who was making his way over to the others.

"My dear princesses…so nice to see you again…oh and you too kind sir." he said. Light was already annoyed enough, so she kicked Tamaki in the shins. "You are an IDIOT!" she yelled.

The twins and her friends began laughing. "You're pretty funny, you know." they said, wrapping their arms around her. "This day could not get any worse." grumbled Light, like the ray of sunshine she is.

Hunny looked at the ground Tamaki. "Again?" he asked. "We've briefly met before…then our lives were ruined when Penny, Tatania and I were put in the same class as him. I fucking hate life…" Light said, somehow out of the twins' grip. "Just like Nini-chan and Ally-chan are in our class, right Takashi?" asked Hunny. "Yeah." replied Mori.

"And you arrre…" the twins asked Light. "Ironically enough my name is Light." she replied. Something in Hunny's head clicked.

"Oh and a point of advice. Don't assault people with bright lights…and in my case flowers. No reasoning needed." said Light. Kyoya wrote something in his death no…in his black notebook. Not a death note.

"Oh hey look the doors!" yelled the twins.

Haruhi Fujioka, in her weird grandpa clothes was the one standing there. "Oh it's just him." said the twins.

Blablabla, stuff about commoners. When Tamaki went to touch Haruhi he was promptly kicked by a certain girl who can't control her anger very well. "Don't touch people." she said.

"You've got an excellent kicking leg, Mr…" Tamaki trailed off. "I'm in your class you should know." she deadpanned.

Haruhi, who tried to escape, was suddenly verbally molested by Tamaki. "So what's your type?" "Oh god…" groaned Lexie. The more talking and shit and…BOOM! Broken vase! From that day on Haruhi was doomed to be in the host club.

"What should we do with them, Tamaki-sempai? I mean Light-sempai isn't good-looking enough to be a host and Haruhi's just a commoner." said the twins. "EXCUSE ME I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS! AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SEMPAI, YOU LITTLE SHITS?!" yelled Light from her observing place. Tamaki was scared into the emo corner, not wanting to deal with her.

Penny and Tatania were on their butts laughing, finding this situation hilarious. "The more the merrier." said Kyoya, not looking up from his laptop. Light's hand smacked against her face once again. "FUCK. YOU." she slowly hissed.

"What do you say?" asked Tamaki, who was already out of his emo corner. "Honestly I'd rather not… So I'd rather observe it first before jumping right in" Light lied, because she didn't want them to know this was an anime. "If that's alright with you." Tamaki opened his mouth to answer. "Kyoya." she finished, smiling deviously, sending Tamaki to the emo corner. "I'm alright with that." said Kyoya, from his laptop.

So then, both Haruhi and Light were stuck with the host club.

As the host club went on, Light stayed as far away as possible from everyone but her friends. "You're going to say no, aren't you?" asked Nini-chan. Light stopped her observations for a quick moment to look at the second most mature person of their group. "Well everyone else seems to be enjoying themselves. What do I have to lose?" she asked. "You're dignity as a straight person." replied Nini-chan, flatly. "…fuck you I can be straight. Just do the opposite of what the host club naturally does and insult the bitches. It'll work like a charm." Light said.

Nini-chan wondered how Light's thought process could be so twisted. Then she remembered this was Light she was thinking about and gave up.

A small group of girls suddenly walked up to Light, who was alone by that point. "Are you joining the host club?" asked one girl. "Eh." replied Light. "Why wouldn't you join?" asked another girl. Light pondered for a moment, pretending this wasn't an anime. "I'm making sure no sketchy shit goes down. SO basically I'm saying I'm hoping this isn't a strip club and that no drug deals are being put through." replied Light.

Far off in the distance Tatania and Penny were laughing their asses off. Kyoya was making his way over. "Welp I gotta go! Bitches be hatin' on me." she said. "SAVE MEH PENNY!" she yelled. "No way this is gonna be funny." said Penny.

Light returned her attention to Kyoya, who was standing right there. Light tried to find a way to escape the Shadow King. "THE POWER OF GOD COMPELLS YOU!" she yelled. making a cross like shape with her fingers before running away. Penny and Tatania were busy shitting themselves now.

When Light stopped, she was back where she began. She sighed seeing no way out of it. "Okay fine. What?" she asked, dismissively.

Kyoya stared at her confused. How could someone be so much like Tamaki but also so much like himself. Don't let that confusion shoe, Kyoya. CONCEAL DON'T FEEL!

"What were you saying about our club?" asked Kyoya, hiding his emotions. "I'm making sure this isn't a strip club. That's what a host club is back in Canada." she replied. "How do you even know this?" asked Kyoya, even more confused than before. Light couldn't hold back his smile and laughter. "By the power of WIKIPEDIA!" she yelled, killing Penny and Tatania.

Light didn't wait for Kyoya's remarks and ran over to Penny. "No Cry! You had so much to live foor." she yelled in an imitation of PewdiePie.

Penny laughed harder, if that was even possible. "I love you." Light whispered in her Pewds voice as Penny kept dying.

Her fun was ended when Tamaki came out of the emo corner and began spinning Light. "That was amazing! Truly fantastic!" he yelled. "GET OFF ME YOU FUCKING WEIRDO! HELP ME SOMEONE!" she yelled.

Lexie simply got up and Vulcan death gripped Tamaki. Tamaki crawled away, back to his customers…only to do the same thing to Haruhi 10 minutes later.

Penny and Tatania regained the small amount of sanity they had left and acted as normal as they could.

"You won't please him you know." said a voice to Light. "Tamaki? Oh god why would I want to please HIM? I'm trying to keep him the fuck away from me because he's creepy an annoying." Light replied. Ayanokoji glared at the girl, who wouldn't face her.

Of course Ayanokoji thought Light was a boy. Then she laughed. "You'll fall for him one day." she said. Light scoffed. "That's the day I go to Heaven. The wonderful Satanist that I am. Now if you'll excuse me there are some children I have to sacrifice to Satan….well actually I'm Satan. So I have to go polish my throne." Light said, walking away, leaving Ayanokoji speechless. Thank God. She's annoying as fuck.

When the club ended, the hosts stared at Light waiting for her answer. "I'll join your club. Switch up the normal routine of goofing off all the time. Wait a minute I'll just do that anyways…" she began speaking to herself. "Light." said Lexie. "Oh right! Also I have one condition." Light said. "Name it." said Kyoya, actually looking up from his book.

"No one must know I'm a girl." Light said, removing her hat from her head. Everyone else stared speechless at her long-ish black hair. "What?" asked Light, genuinely confused.

"I thought you were GAY!" yelled Hunny. The room fell silent as Light's hand, for what seemed like the tenth time today, collided with her face.


	2. Chapter 2-The Pairings Begin

**A/N: The first chapter written by Tatania...I edited it and...everything in bold is stuff added by me, LighttheJeenius. Enjoy this extremely short chapter. Also can you guess, after this chapter, who is gonna be paired with who? I wanna see your guesses!**

Penny's POV

Light was only one day into being a host and she's already made three girls cry! I mean all they said was she was pretty enough to be a girl, and she is one!

Tamaki had to comfort them, he is so gentle and kind. Just like a real prince, and he's sooooooo cute!

Light and the rest of the girls think he is weird. But Tatania's the one falling for the 'rock man' Mori. But she must be better at getting boys to like her because she already has permission to call him Takashi, which only Hunny can call him.

Omg Tamaki's coming over omg omg omg!

No one's POV

Tamaki walked slowly towards Penny with one of his heart-melting smiles on. "Hello Penny-hime. Why do you look so down?" he said, handing her a cup of Earl Grey and softly touching her arm. Penny blushed a vibrant red as she took the tea with a shaking hand trying to be smooth.

"Maybe because someone doesn't like me ouji-sama." she said cunningly as he took her hand and got down on one knee.

**Off in the distance Light noticed this and gagged. The twins soon followed stared at them like the idiots they are.**

"Whomever doesn't like you, my beautiful Penny, shall be smited by the God who rules the heavens and earth leaving only those who adore you…such as I." **"Tamaki there's no God!" yelled Light from her table. She rolled her eyes and asked her customers, "So do you like loud rock music that drowns out mushy bullshit?" **

Penny gasped as Tamaki kissed her hand and whispered "I shall never be worthy of you,my one Goddess, but please if I may lay myself and beg at your feet and beg for you to be mine." Penny nearly screeched with excitement. **Although no one would have noticed with Black Veil Brides blasting through the room.** "Yes, sempai, I would love to be yours!"

He smiled and lifted her up into the air and spun her around. "Let's go and tell everyone!" he said with finality.

Two minutes later

Tamaki had the hosts in the prep-room. "What the hell are we doing in here? I should be going and making those stuck up bitches cry right now!" Light said angrily. Tamaki flinched slightly at her tone.

"That's not really the point of the host club." said Kyoya, reasonably. **"Oh look. I just dropped the fuck I was about to give." she replied. **Hunny pouted. "Maybe if you weren't so mean they would like you." "What did you say you stupid little shrimp?!"

Hunny started to cry and Tatania stepped up to say something but Mori beat her to it by placing a hand on her shoulder and looking Light dead in the eye. "Stop making Mitskuni cry. It's not nice." Light looked at him for a moment, gouging how serious he was.

She shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Whatever." but backs off.

Tamaki cleared his throat. "As for why I gathered here. Penny and I have an announcement to make. We are now dating."

Light burst out laughing and couldn't stop. Tatania started to giggle a bit but hid her face behind Mori. The twins were dying of laughter and Kyoya smiled slightly behind his black book. Hunny's eyes went huge. "Really? Wow you must be really great! I didn't think anyone would ever date Tama-chan!"

After everyone had finally gone quiet, Light was still laughing her ass off. "Ehgm…are you done?" Light looked at him for a second before bursting out laughing again. "Please tell me you're kidding! Penny you wouldn't date this dumbass, right? That whole lesson with the stupid pinky thing!"

She began to mock Tamaki. "When placing a glass down extend your pinky finger as a cushion so it makes less sound." She picked up the glass beside her and did as he said. A small clink sounded as it hit the table. "It doesn't fucking work! This guy's full of bullshit!"

Penny burst into tears. Light rolled her eyes . "There she goes. Fine, I don't care. Date him. I give you my blessing or some shit." she called back as she walked away stifling giggles.


	3. Chapter 3-A Painful Note

**A/N: Hello people, it's me...Light. Seeing this you can probably guess there is bad news coming. And there is. As much as it pains me to say this, I'm not going to continue with this fanfic. It's just...tatania can't seem to get her act together and finish her chapters and, quite frankly, I'm tried of waiting. Also, as you may know from the Black Butler fanfic, I've REALLY gotten into Hetalia again. **

**So, again, I'm sorry I never got far into it, but it had to be done. **

**Now that this fanfic is done you may see a Hetalia version of it come eventually. *wiggles eyebrows***

**Light the Jeenius signing off for the last time of this fanfiction. See you on the other(s)!**


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